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UK Stratford Riverside, London - October 2016

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The Stratford Riverside (an apartment block) is a ‘prestigious’ new riverside development situated on the Waterworks River, near the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park. Once fully completed the project will be 29 storeys high and it will have a ‘striking’ glass façade. The building, which features balconies/terraces in every one of its 201 apartments, will offer residents fantastic views of London’s skyline, where it is possible to view the financial powerhouses of the British economy to the west, and the modern towers of Canary Warf to the south. Alternatively, people can also use the expansive roof garden on the 7th floor to gaze out at the city. Additional features of the development include a resident’s only gymnasium, a hotel-styled foyer with concierge and a café/bar. The developers describe the building as a ‘world of luxury’, suggesting that it will quickly become an enviable address in one of London’s fastest growing areas. Stratford itself is said to be a vibrant district of London, which offers everything you need for a ‘superior lifestyle’. For anyone who is interested, prices for a two-bedroom apartment start from £465,000, while three bedroom dwellings start from £680,000. 


Our Version of Events


Looking for another night of fun in London, we decided to have a wander around Stratford.We’d noticed some development going on over that way a few evenings earlier, so thought it was worth a look around. After spending a few moments eying up various sites, we finally settled on the Stratford Riverside development; it looked reasonably high, and offered views over the Olympic Stadium. 


As always, it took a little time to figure out how to get onsite. Eventually, though, we found a suitable way into the site and ended up inside some sort of bush. As it turned out, this wasn’t the best way inside and Mayhem quickly discovered that the bush wasn’t weight bearing. There was a brief moment it seemed to take his weight, but a second later several large cracks erupted from beneath him and he was sent tumbled downwards. His life flashed before his eyes as he plummeted towards the ground below, and, as he told us later, he could see the bush above him steadily disappear as it grew smaller and smaller, as the distance between it and himself grew larger. 


Mayhem landed with a sudden thud, into an enormous pit of thorns. Feeling for his arms, legs and other essential parts, to check everything was where it was supposed to be, he glanced around to see where he was. As he began to come to his senses, he quickly realised that the fall had been a whopping metre. He could see a large hole in the bush above with moonlight pouring through. He was lucky to be alive. Using the light to find a way out, he attempted to crawl out of the pit where there were fewer thorns. A sudden pain shot through his body as he tried to move. Quickly he reached for his arse and it was then that he found a large spikey thorn wedged between his crack. Taking in several deep breathes, he grasped it firmly between both hands it gave it a good yank. A stifled scream escaped his tensed lips as the barbs very nearly extended the diameter of his anus. After breathing a sigh of relief, he managed to crawl his way out of the bush to join the rest of us who were waiting patiently.  


Next, we raced over to the buildings just ahead of us. At least most of us raced there; those less fortunate were forced to adopt a cowboy strut with their legs wide enough apart to prevent chafing. A few moments later and we were all gathered as the base of the building. From here we had to do a fair bit of ducking, a little bit of dodging and some diving to get to the top of the Riverside development. Had we been wearing leopard-skin leotards and headbands, we would have looked an 80s aerobics class in full swing. 


At the top of the Riverside development we immediately set about taking photographs. The view was pretty good, and once again we could see for miles. Unfortunately, it was blowing an absolute gale up on the rooftop, meaning it was hard to keep the tripods steady. It was brass monkeys up there too, so we didn’t stick around for too long. After facing the blizzards and hurricane force winds that were battering us harder than a granny with a washing bat, it wasn’t long before we were forced to retreat. In the end, we’ve managed to salvage some of the shots, but we were a little disappointed with them overall. 


Explored with Ford Mayhem, Slayaaaa and two anonymous individuals. 

Stratford Riverside





















































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On 11/8/2016 at 2:17 AM, hamtagger said:

Nice work mate and funny write up. Some crispy crane shots there :) 





Cheers mate :thumb

On 11/9/2016 at 5:13 AM, DirtyJigsaw said:

Nice shots man, what camera and lens do you use please? I enjoyed this rooftop. 

Thank man. It's a Nikon 10.5 f2.8.

Edited by WildBoyz

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